We have just finished the 10th anniversary of the institution I am currently working in, Butuan Child Care Therapy Center. After all the late night practices and last minute hassles we finally did it. And have done it with flying rainbow colors!Hehehe!
It was so much fun...granted I was not that eager to join in the festivities but one can't help but become part of the preparation.
Firstly cause I can't just watch my co-workers struggling and stressing for the event all on their own. I wasn't excited to join mainly due to the fact that I was still feeling sore for the change in our status from regular employees to consultants. From a regular pay to a no client no pay status. I was really disappointed and disillusioned especially as they (the administration) keep saying that "we are a family" ( bullshit!). But, like I said, I can't help it. I like my co-workers and I can't just sit around knowing that there is something I can do to help them. I also felt sorry for the center's administrator (who is not part of the administration that I was refering to). He was already stressing with the logistics, reservations for venues and hotels and invitations, to making of videos and memorabilia. Added to that the growing gap in his relationship with one of the my co-workers that he was closest to. So, yeah, I kinda felt like I really need to help.
Secondly, there was plenty of food...aaaaaaahhhhhh!Free food. No matter if it was home cooked or fast food, it was still free. FOOOOOOOOODDDDD!
Third, cause it was a great opportunity to bond with my officemates. I mean, yeah we worked in the same center but we barely spend time together. We can no longer eat lunch at the same time since we, the therapists, finishes our last kid at past 12 noon and the teachers usually eat lunch before 12 noon. So, it was a time to catch up with everybody and with what's happening and to discuss our kids. It was most especially fun during practice. The teasing as to who has left feet, the ones that have a hard time dancing sexy and sultry,lol!FUN!
Fourth, it was fun to discuss clothes,hehehe!What to wear for the costume party. I wore anime/schoolgirl outfit,hehehe!What hairstyle and make up to use. And of course everybody was excited to wear long gowns for the gala night. Where to rent,what to rent...the rush and the excitement in finding the perfect gown. Of course, I rented one for the opening number and red carpet, changed into a gown I borrowed from a friend (thanks Jang!) for the awarding and pictorial and another gown courtesy of an officemate for after the contest. It was fun and I felt like a celebrity, especially with the flashing of the cameras.
It was fun and cool and exciting. I'll remember this event as one of the most fun I have in BCCTC.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
What is this?
What is this I'm feeling...I just can't explain...
Hahay...my emotions though not really on a roller coaster sort of feeling..I don't understand. I vacillate between wanting to stay with my family and having my own place.
I love my family...I like the feeling of knowing that when I get home my parents are there. I mean, we may not talk a lot and have their own stuff to do even at home..but still the feeling that they are there, it's nice. It's also nice to know that I know that my siblings will be home for breaks and holidays. It's a plus that I don't have to pay for and cook my food,somebody does my laundry,cleans the house and does things around the house (just goes to show how lazy I have become,lol).I can also easily just talk to my Nanay. On the downside...my Tatay keeps asking where I am and what time I'll be home if I'm out beyond the usual time (ggrrrrrr...)I need to tell them if I'm going out with my friends. I also need to inform them ahead of time if I plan to go out of town...I need to tell my Nanay and Tatay individually...hahay!They also keep telling me to clean my room ( I mean my room's clean enough for me! and organized enough!)Hahay...The down side of being the only child at home, at least no competition on the use of the computer and tv..lol.Though when my younger siblings come home...I become their financial sponsor,huhuhu...waz na dada Ate (",
I am also wanting to have my own place. A place where I can just sit down,laze around and eat whenever and wherever I like. I don't have to inform anybody where I am going and what time I'll be home. Nobody to tell me that I'm eating junk food. Nobody to wake me up early in the morning (though I might get late if it's a work day) I wanna have the freedom to bring my friends to my place and not worry about my Tatay arriving home in a "bad mood". My friends can stay for as long as they like. I can buy my own stuff and arrange my furniture the way I want. Somewhere that I can be independent..though I doubt it since I tend to depend if not on my family, on my friends...Love you all guys.
lol (",
Hahay...my emotions though not really on a roller coaster sort of feeling..I don't understand. I vacillate between wanting to stay with my family and having my own place.
I love my family...I like the feeling of knowing that when I get home my parents are there. I mean, we may not talk a lot and have their own stuff to do even at home..but still the feeling that they are there, it's nice. It's also nice to know that I know that my siblings will be home for breaks and holidays. It's a plus that I don't have to pay for and cook my food,somebody does my laundry,cleans the house and does things around the house (just goes to show how lazy I have become,lol).I can also easily just talk to my Nanay. On the downside...my Tatay keeps asking where I am and what time I'll be home if I'm out beyond the usual time (ggrrrrrr...)I need to tell them if I'm going out with my friends. I also need to inform them ahead of time if I plan to go out of town...I need to tell my Nanay and Tatay individually...hahay!They also keep telling me to clean my room ( I mean my room's clean enough for me! and organized enough!)Hahay...The down side of being the only child at home, at least no competition on the use of the computer and tv..lol.Though when my younger siblings come home...I become their financial sponsor,huhuhu...waz na dada Ate (",
I am also wanting to have my own place. A place where I can just sit down,laze around and eat whenever and wherever I like. I don't have to inform anybody where I am going and what time I'll be home. Nobody to tell me that I'm eating junk food. Nobody to wake me up early in the morning (though I might get late if it's a work day) I wanna have the freedom to bring my friends to my place and not worry about my Tatay arriving home in a "bad mood". My friends can stay for as long as they like. I can buy my own stuff and arrange my furniture the way I want. Somewhere that I can be independent..though I doubt it since I tend to depend if not on my family, on my friends...Love you all guys.
lol (",
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Religion,Mission,Church
I just got home from hearing mass with my Mother. The gospel talks about a dishonest judge who later relented and gave a fair judgement to a woman that keeps visiting him and asking him to give a righteous decision on her case. The priest, on his homily said something about if only we ask God everyday what we need, with a passionate heart we will surely receive it, though not in the ways we expect.
Today is also a Mission Sunday. The priest on his homily also talked about how few there are, especially among the youth to enter a convent,seminary or monastery and become a priest,nun or monk. This is so prevalent especially in the western countries. He said that in these economically developed countries convents and monasteries are converted into museums and tourist destinations due to lack of disciples. He said that the Philippines is more fortunate as there are still quite a lot of Filipinos that enter convents and seminaries to become priests and nuns. I wonder why?
I don't know but maybe I'm too cynical...sometimes I feel that people who enter a convent or a seminary are there 'cause they think becoming a priest or nun will give them a better life. Don't get me wrong this is not just a random thought that I plucked from thin air, this is based on a couple of months stay in a very "religious" city that has 2 seminaries (high school and college), 3 convents and a catechism school, not to mention that the Archbishop's Palace is there, their biggest church and the seat of their diocese's location. All the above mentioned located within the city proper. I can't remember how long I stayed there, it was definitely more than a couple of months but less than a year. And such a thought is also not just a supposition, I was definitely up close and personal with some of them. Know why? Cause I stayed in a convent run by an active sister whose advocacy or mission was to help the sick. I often go to the Bishop's Palace or rather the dormitory near the Bishop's Palace since an Aunt was also staying there. So with such places that I go to, you can see that I have a fairly good seat to watch and observe these people. Oh, and did I mention that I often visit other convents and churches with my Aunt and the Sister I was staying with? Yeah, I did...and hang out with some of the younger priests, and serve some of the older ones.
Now, as I was saying, I feel that some people enter a seminary or convent with the thought that they will have a more comfortable life. I say this because, I know it's pretty expensive to study in a seminary so they'll find sponsor/sponsors to help them out. Who can refuse such a scholar? A future servant of God...one would think "I'd be blessed". Even as full pledged priests they have sponsors. I see them everyday driving cars, it may be given by their parents, their siblings or their relatives who knows, but for some of them it does not reflect sacrifice. I interact with them almost everyday, see the designer shirts and pants they wear, smell a really familiar,really expensive kind of perfume on them that even from afar you'd know who's who with the perfume they wear. Those things may be given to them by a family member but does it reflect simplicity? There was even a seminarian who asked me if wearing braces is ok...I told him it's a necessity if the formation of your teeth hinders your ability to speak and eat...but if for cosmetic reasons alone then it's just vanity. Nuns seem ok...at first but when you watch and observe, sometimes you can see and feel that there's a certain air of discord within their circle. I saw a sister came out of her bedroom when she stayed at the dormitory (this was during the elections and both of us were serving the NAMFREL), I said "good morning" and she just stared at me, may be because I was wearing a black shirt, dark eyeliner under the eyes, unpaired earrings and ear cuffs, red lips. But when she came out of the communal bathroom, she was already rosy cheeked, pink lips and a hint of color above the eyes...hhmmm...With such experiences I wonder if charity,chastity and simplicity still applies.
Another reason is that, if they get and have somebody help them in their schooling they'd have free board and lodging, though they have chores in the seminary but it wouldn't be like staying at home. They are also kind of sheltered from the harsh realities of going hungry, worrying where to find money for food and daily necessities, balancing relationships. I don't know if it's good or bad...but again I find them too sheltered. Some of them exudes a subtle air of not being touched by the harsh realities of life.
But the other part of me applauds them. I kind of admired them for going through life without the usual stuff we people not in convents and seminaries do. Not being able to build relationships,always careful how you act...For those who enter the seminary at high school they are already separated from their families at twelve or thirteen. If you have a younger sibling you won't be able to have fun with them. I don't know how it'll feel if I can't quarrel with my siblings, tease them,share stuff with them. Not being able to play like any young kid.Not being able to interact with the opposite sex or go out on dates like any young adult. Not being able to watch a movie with friends, play video games or just hang out in a bar or at the mall. Not being able to pick and choose the kind of clothes you like, the kind of style you want. The thought of "who will take care of me when I've grown old?", "who will take care of me when I get sick?". It's kinda scary and could be lonely sometimes. All one can do is sacrifice..always pray.
Really...I once contemplated entering a convent...but even before the thought formed I know I won't survive. I bend rules. I'm too outspoken. I have a tendency to be aggressive...and I never liked pressure. And I won't sacrifice my junkfoods. Plus I'll miss my family terribly, I'll miss my friends and I doubt if I can live a quiet life like the sisters and nuns do.
So I applaud you all...priests, nuns,sisters and monks for choosing a life that is full of sacrifice. I guess for me it's sacrifice, for you an honor to serve the Lord.
Today is also a Mission Sunday. The priest on his homily also talked about how few there are, especially among the youth to enter a convent,seminary or monastery and become a priest,nun or monk. This is so prevalent especially in the western countries. He said that in these economically developed countries convents and monasteries are converted into museums and tourist destinations due to lack of disciples. He said that the Philippines is more fortunate as there are still quite a lot of Filipinos that enter convents and seminaries to become priests and nuns. I wonder why?
I don't know but maybe I'm too cynical...sometimes I feel that people who enter a convent or a seminary are there 'cause they think becoming a priest or nun will give them a better life. Don't get me wrong this is not just a random thought that I plucked from thin air, this is based on a couple of months stay in a very "religious" city that has 2 seminaries (high school and college), 3 convents and a catechism school, not to mention that the Archbishop's Palace is there, their biggest church and the seat of their diocese's location. All the above mentioned located within the city proper. I can't remember how long I stayed there, it was definitely more than a couple of months but less than a year. And such a thought is also not just a supposition, I was definitely up close and personal with some of them. Know why? Cause I stayed in a convent run by an active sister whose advocacy or mission was to help the sick. I often go to the Bishop's Palace or rather the dormitory near the Bishop's Palace since an Aunt was also staying there. So with such places that I go to, you can see that I have a fairly good seat to watch and observe these people. Oh, and did I mention that I often visit other convents and churches with my Aunt and the Sister I was staying with? Yeah, I did...and hang out with some of the younger priests, and serve some of the older ones.
Now, as I was saying, I feel that some people enter a seminary or convent with the thought that they will have a more comfortable life. I say this because, I know it's pretty expensive to study in a seminary so they'll find sponsor/sponsors to help them out. Who can refuse such a scholar? A future servant of God...one would think "I'd be blessed". Even as full pledged priests they have sponsors. I see them everyday driving cars, it may be given by their parents, their siblings or their relatives who knows, but for some of them it does not reflect sacrifice. I interact with them almost everyday, see the designer shirts and pants they wear, smell a really familiar,really expensive kind of perfume on them that even from afar you'd know who's who with the perfume they wear. Those things may be given to them by a family member but does it reflect simplicity? There was even a seminarian who asked me if wearing braces is ok...I told him it's a necessity if the formation of your teeth hinders your ability to speak and eat...but if for cosmetic reasons alone then it's just vanity. Nuns seem ok...at first but when you watch and observe, sometimes you can see and feel that there's a certain air of discord within their circle. I saw a sister came out of her bedroom when she stayed at the dormitory (this was during the elections and both of us were serving the NAMFREL), I said "good morning" and she just stared at me, may be because I was wearing a black shirt, dark eyeliner under the eyes, unpaired earrings and ear cuffs, red lips. But when she came out of the communal bathroom, she was already rosy cheeked, pink lips and a hint of color above the eyes...hhmmm...With such experiences I wonder if charity,chastity and simplicity still applies.
Another reason is that, if they get and have somebody help them in their schooling they'd have free board and lodging, though they have chores in the seminary but it wouldn't be like staying at home. They are also kind of sheltered from the harsh realities of going hungry, worrying where to find money for food and daily necessities, balancing relationships. I don't know if it's good or bad...but again I find them too sheltered. Some of them exudes a subtle air of not being touched by the harsh realities of life.
But the other part of me applauds them. I kind of admired them for going through life without the usual stuff we people not in convents and seminaries do. Not being able to build relationships,always careful how you act...For those who enter the seminary at high school they are already separated from their families at twelve or thirteen. If you have a younger sibling you won't be able to have fun with them. I don't know how it'll feel if I can't quarrel with my siblings, tease them,share stuff with them. Not being able to play like any young kid.Not being able to interact with the opposite sex or go out on dates like any young adult. Not being able to watch a movie with friends, play video games or just hang out in a bar or at the mall. Not being able to pick and choose the kind of clothes you like, the kind of style you want. The thought of "who will take care of me when I've grown old?", "who will take care of me when I get sick?". It's kinda scary and could be lonely sometimes. All one can do is sacrifice..always pray.
Really...I once contemplated entering a convent...but even before the thought formed I know I won't survive. I bend rules. I'm too outspoken. I have a tendency to be aggressive...and I never liked pressure. And I won't sacrifice my junkfoods. Plus I'll miss my family terribly, I'll miss my friends and I doubt if I can live a quiet life like the sisters and nuns do.
So I applaud you all...priests, nuns,sisters and monks for choosing a life that is full of sacrifice. I guess for me it's sacrifice, for you an honor to serve the Lord.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Plans go Awry..
I just got back from visiting and supporting my sister in Manila for her exams. Before, I went there I already made plans to go to places that I haven't really been to. But as always,things don't go the way I want them to.
I wasn't able to go to the Manila Ocean Park...aaaaarrgghhh! I wanna go there.I wanna see the fishes up close,hehehe!Besides it's only a jeepney ride from where we were staying. But noooo... we went to Divisoria....aaaarrrrgghhhh!
I wanted to go to Enchanted Kingdom. In my four,five years of studying in Manila, I wasn't able to go to this place. In my on and off stay in Manila for another five years, I still wasn't able to ride the rides and see the sites in Enchanted Kingdom. I told myself now is the time. But noooo... we went to Baclaran...aaaarrrggghhhh!
The things I wanna do I wasn't able to do them but there were some unexpected activities that we did. Thanks to my friends and my flexible Mother and sister,hehehe!
Though, I wasn't able to go to Enchanted Kingdom, I was able to spend time with my friends, eating, shopping for shoes and just plain hanging out. It was fun. I really missed my friends. I miss us just sitting on a bed, watching tv, talking about anything and everything. I guess, I missed their presence. I am ever grateful for their support.
Though I wasn't able to go to Manila Ocean Park, I was able to attend a Kerygma Feast and listen to one of the talks of Bo Sanchez. It was fun and refreshing. It helped in renewing my spirituality. Made me hunger for spiritual events. It made me think of my Lingkod family. It was really nice,hehehe!
But...at least I was able to watch a 3D movie in SM Mall of Asia's IMax. It was fun, a new way of watching movies...lol!
I was kinda disappointed and frustrated that I wasn't able to do the things that I planned...but upon reflection, I actually wasn't really disappointed nor frustrated. I was actually happy. I was really happy to spend time with my friends. I was happy to spend girl time with my mother and sister. I was happy for the spiritual feast that I attended,really helpful and insightful. I guess, it wasn't about what we did but rather with whom we spent the time with that was important and truly mattered. I had a really good time and had loads of fun ,") .
I wasn't able to go to the Manila Ocean Park...aaaaarrgghhh! I wanna go there.I wanna see the fishes up close,hehehe!Besides it's only a jeepney ride from where we were staying. But noooo... we went to Divisoria....aaaarrrrgghhhh!
I wanted to go to Enchanted Kingdom. In my four,five years of studying in Manila, I wasn't able to go to this place. In my on and off stay in Manila for another five years, I still wasn't able to ride the rides and see the sites in Enchanted Kingdom. I told myself now is the time. But noooo... we went to Baclaran...aaaarrrggghhhh!
The things I wanna do I wasn't able to do them but there were some unexpected activities that we did. Thanks to my friends and my flexible Mother and sister,hehehe!
Though, I wasn't able to go to Enchanted Kingdom, I was able to spend time with my friends, eating, shopping for shoes and just plain hanging out. It was fun. I really missed my friends. I miss us just sitting on a bed, watching tv, talking about anything and everything. I guess, I missed their presence. I am ever grateful for their support.
Though I wasn't able to go to Manila Ocean Park, I was able to attend a Kerygma Feast and listen to one of the talks of Bo Sanchez. It was fun and refreshing. It helped in renewing my spirituality. Made me hunger for spiritual events. It made me think of my Lingkod family. It was really nice,hehehe!
But...at least I was able to watch a 3D movie in SM Mall of Asia's IMax. It was fun, a new way of watching movies...lol!
I was kinda disappointed and frustrated that I wasn't able to do the things that I planned...but upon reflection, I actually wasn't really disappointed nor frustrated. I was actually happy. I was really happy to spend time with my friends. I was happy to spend girl time with my mother and sister. I was happy for the spiritual feast that I attended,really helpful and insightful. I guess, it wasn't about what we did but rather with whom we spent the time with that was important and truly mattered. I had a really good time and had loads of fun ,") .
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Honestly..Why am I bored?
I've been posting for quite sometime that I'm rather bored. I may be busy checking mails, surfing the net,watching anime and tv series,reading books,blogs and fanfic...still am bored. I've been wondering myself why I am bored. I shouldn't be. I mean I go to work, I am currently answering my module (liar,liar,pants on fire!hehehehe!), I watch tv...It's not like am not doing anything but...
Yeah, but...I feel that what I am doing is not enough. I mean am on the net but I jump from one site to another. I read a book at the same time is watching a tv series. I chat with my friends at the same time watching an anime online. I go to work, yet looking forward to going home. I listen to music but is actually playing a game, eating and/or reading a book. Am not really a multitasking person yet I do all these stuff at once.
I also seem to have loads of cravings, and kinda specific, too. I wanna eat pizza and carbonara (at Pizza Hut), burger,fries,sundae and float (at McDo),hotdog and palabok (at Jollibee)lasagna (at Greenwich). Pringles, Cheetos, Chippy, Mr Chips, Cheese Curls, Goldilocks polvoron, PikNik. I mean everybody knows I love chips (junkfoods) and that I prefer eating at McDo but to actually have these cravings one after another!Really,really weird...and am not like this that if the craving is not satisfied I don't let up. But then I'm also not like this that once I've eaten what I craved for, am not gonna eat it again for quite sometime. Really,really weird (this is with my head shaking..)
At first I don't know why...all I can think about is am bored. Like I am looking for something new. or maybe an adrenaline rush, hehehehe! Something, anything to get me out of this feeling of doing nothing.
Now, just really recently, I realized that am actually bored. Bored in the sense that my mind is not that strongly stimulated. Life has become a routine. It has become too slow for me. I mean that the pace here in Butuan has become a bit dull for me. I don't mean it in a bad way,it's just it's being slow for me. My mother has been telling me to do something to keep myself from falling into a rut... and now here I am... in a rut.
Hahay! Maybe I feel this way cause there are times that I feel like am falling behind everybody. I feel like I haven't done anything significant yet. I feel like I have nothing to show for all the years I have worked. So I guess, my boredom also stemmed from feeling dissatisfied. And spiritually speaking...I need to go back to Lingkod,hahay!
I need to take action, take back my zeal for life...hehehehe!
Yeah, but...I feel that what I am doing is not enough. I mean am on the net but I jump from one site to another. I read a book at the same time is watching a tv series. I chat with my friends at the same time watching an anime online. I go to work, yet looking forward to going home. I listen to music but is actually playing a game, eating and/or reading a book. Am not really a multitasking person yet I do all these stuff at once.
I also seem to have loads of cravings, and kinda specific, too. I wanna eat pizza and carbonara (at Pizza Hut), burger,fries,sundae and float (at McDo),hotdog and palabok (at Jollibee)lasagna (at Greenwich). Pringles, Cheetos, Chippy, Mr Chips, Cheese Curls, Goldilocks polvoron, PikNik. I mean everybody knows I love chips (junkfoods) and that I prefer eating at McDo but to actually have these cravings one after another!Really,really weird...and am not like this that if the craving is not satisfied I don't let up. But then I'm also not like this that once I've eaten what I craved for, am not gonna eat it again for quite sometime. Really,really weird (this is with my head shaking..)
At first I don't know why...all I can think about is am bored. Like I am looking for something new. or maybe an adrenaline rush, hehehehe! Something, anything to get me out of this feeling of doing nothing.
Now, just really recently, I realized that am actually bored. Bored in the sense that my mind is not that strongly stimulated. Life has become a routine. It has become too slow for me. I mean that the pace here in Butuan has become a bit dull for me. I don't mean it in a bad way,it's just it's being slow for me. My mother has been telling me to do something to keep myself from falling into a rut... and now here I am... in a rut.
Hahay! Maybe I feel this way cause there are times that I feel like am falling behind everybody. I feel like I haven't done anything significant yet. I feel like I have nothing to show for all the years I have worked. So I guess, my boredom also stemmed from feeling dissatisfied. And spiritually speaking...I need to go back to Lingkod,hahay!
I need to take action, take back my zeal for life...hehehehe!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
WAAAAHHHHHH!
I am so jealous...my officemates just arrived yesterday from their trip to Hongkong...waaaahhh...I wanna go. They had so much fun despite what happened. They were able to go to places they wanted to go despite the limited budget and inability to speak or understand any Chinese dialect. All they did was careful planning, loads of research and able to get a promo fare....Waaaahhh...they even went to Macau....hahay!They have plenty of nice pics...huhuhuhu....la lang pasalubong...aaaaahhh :(
Hehehehe!they did bring souvenirs but only for a selected few...and I'm one of 'em.Yehey!
Hehehehe!they did bring souvenirs but only for a selected few...and I'm one of 'em.Yehey!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
My Thanks II
Having time in my hands and having read my previous blogs, I came across an entry titled "My Thanks". So this is a part two of it.
At that time I was emotionally,mentally and spiritually low. I was really depressed and stressed out then. Now, I am in an ambivalent mood. Kinda not really depressed but in a sorta reflective mood. So maybe these thank yous are borne not out of being in a highly emotional state but rather out of reflection and realizations.
Again, I wanna say thank you to all my teachers and lecturers in preschool, elementary and high school and also university. I say thank you to all the speakers in all the trainings and seminars I have attended and all the reviews I have taken. You may not know it but in one way or another you have helped mold me into what I am today. Not only for adding information to my store of knowledge but also for teaching me through actions and not just words what it is to be a child, a member of society and a part of the workforce.
I wanna say thank you to all the people that has passed through my life from my friends in the different neighborhood that we have lived in, to the kids I have met while vacationing, to my former wavemates,teammates and officemates to my current officemates and friends.Thank you all, though you may have passed in a way that may seem insignificant, you guys have in a way made my childhood fun, the trainings enjoyable and the work bearable. You have helped me become a bit more sociable and interactive with different people. Thank ya'll.
Of course there are people that I wanna specifically mention.
First off, to my parents for giving me the courage to explore. Thank you for letting me go to a school far away from home. Thank you for continually supporting me financially and emotionally. Thank you for your patience especially during the times that I was a bum and moving from one job to another. I'm sorry for my hardheadedness and stubbornness. Thank you for allowing me travel and spend time with my friends. Thank you for allowing me to satisfy my curiosities in life and for guiding me in a way that did not hinder my growth. I may have made loads of mistakes and at times disappointed you yet you were there guiding, guarding and supporting me.
To my siblings, thank you for being there for me. Thank you for teaching me to be a good Ate and sibling. We may still rub each other the wrong way yet now that we are older we have reached a kind of understanding towards each other that is more caring, compassionate and mature. We have now learned to give each other space and time. We have now in a way supported each other not just financially and materialistically but more in our support in each other's decisions and plans. We have now learned to consult each other and not just with regards to trivial things but more about our lives and situations. To my sister, Curlot, thank you for your patience and at times acting more like the big sister,hehehehe! Thank you for helping me pick my clothes. Thank you for your patience with me especially at times when I am short on patience. Thank you for sharing your stuff with me and standing up for me. To my Kuya, thank you for the advises (hehehehe!naa diay?). Thank you for all the gadgets you've given me, us your siblings. Thank you for the support. To my younger brother, Meowth, thank you for being my driver, hehehehe! Thank you for supporting my decisions and understanding the choices I've made. Thank you for the patience in teaching us how to drive.
To Eduardo, at this point in our lives, I wanna say thank you. Thank you for continually pushing me and believing in me. Thank you for all the patience and care. Thank you for always supporting me and being there for me. Thank you for putting up with my anti-social behaviour, my temper and my uncommunicativeness (is there such a word?hehehehe). Thank you for pushing and pulling me out of my shell despite and inspite of my stubbornness to stay in it. Thank you for always bringing e along in all your ideas and outings. With you I was able to travel without the hassle for planning. With you and Janice I was able to try new things like working in a call center, learning to pose for pics and be more girly.
To Janice, we may not have been close in high school but I felt that the time I spent with you and Eduardo while in Manila brought me closer to you. Thank you for putting up with me. Thank you for "dolling" me up. Though I complain, am really flattered and honored that you take your time to help me choose my clothes and put make up on me. You have in a way influenced me in how I dress and have sorta jump started my interest in putting make up and being more girly hehehehe. You have also taught me that good accessories can change a dress (well you and Eduardo). Thanks much.
To Mae Anne, thank you for keeping in touch. Thank you for showing your support while I was working in the call center and now while I'm still working on finding a job overseas. Thank you for continually encouraging me.
To Berna, you will always be my friend. You have always been there for me in college with all the ups and downs.
To my Auntie-cousin, Te Lai, thank you for being my sound board. Thank you for listening to my complaints and fancies. Thank you for putting up with my English, hehehehe!Thank you for being my Ate.
To Erica, you will always be the first person who befriended me. The first person who put up with me. Thank you for taking me along on your church activities and for accepting me. Sorry if I haven't really kept in touch.
To Jason, thanks for being a friend and staying as such even after college. Thanks for letting me borrow your books and stuff. Thanks for taking time to meet up with me whenever I am in Manila. Thank you for your opinions which are a bit different than the others, hehehe.
To June, I will always remember you to be my connection to Butuan while I was in Manila studying for college. You have helped me not give up on certain things. You have such an awesome fighting spirit, hehehehe. The views and opinions you have shared helped me think and analyze my thoughts and ideas more closely.
To my current officemates, thank you for accepting me...my abrupt moods, my blunt opinions and sometimes my noisiness. Thank you for letting me be. Thanks Mhix for putting up with my strong opinions and idiosyncrasies,hehehehe.
I thank you God, for always giving me people that helps me become a better person.
At that time I was emotionally,mentally and spiritually low. I was really depressed and stressed out then. Now, I am in an ambivalent mood. Kinda not really depressed but in a sorta reflective mood. So maybe these thank yous are borne not out of being in a highly emotional state but rather out of reflection and realizations.
Again, I wanna say thank you to all my teachers and lecturers in preschool, elementary and high school and also university. I say thank you to all the speakers in all the trainings and seminars I have attended and all the reviews I have taken. You may not know it but in one way or another you have helped mold me into what I am today. Not only for adding information to my store of knowledge but also for teaching me through actions and not just words what it is to be a child, a member of society and a part of the workforce.
I wanna say thank you to all the people that has passed through my life from my friends in the different neighborhood that we have lived in, to the kids I have met while vacationing, to my former wavemates,teammates and officemates to my current officemates and friends.Thank you all, though you may have passed in a way that may seem insignificant, you guys have in a way made my childhood fun, the trainings enjoyable and the work bearable. You have helped me become a bit more sociable and interactive with different people. Thank ya'll.
Of course there are people that I wanna specifically mention.
First off, to my parents for giving me the courage to explore. Thank you for letting me go to a school far away from home. Thank you for continually supporting me financially and emotionally. Thank you for your patience especially during the times that I was a bum and moving from one job to another. I'm sorry for my hardheadedness and stubbornness. Thank you for allowing me travel and spend time with my friends. Thank you for allowing me to satisfy my curiosities in life and for guiding me in a way that did not hinder my growth. I may have made loads of mistakes and at times disappointed you yet you were there guiding, guarding and supporting me.
To my siblings, thank you for being there for me. Thank you for teaching me to be a good Ate and sibling. We may still rub each other the wrong way yet now that we are older we have reached a kind of understanding towards each other that is more caring, compassionate and mature. We have now learned to give each other space and time. We have now in a way supported each other not just financially and materialistically but more in our support in each other's decisions and plans. We have now learned to consult each other and not just with regards to trivial things but more about our lives and situations. To my sister, Curlot, thank you for your patience and at times acting more like the big sister,hehehehe! Thank you for helping me pick my clothes. Thank you for your patience with me especially at times when I am short on patience. Thank you for sharing your stuff with me and standing up for me. To my Kuya, thank you for the advises (hehehehe!naa diay?). Thank you for all the gadgets you've given me, us your siblings. Thank you for the support. To my younger brother, Meowth, thank you for being my driver, hehehehe! Thank you for supporting my decisions and understanding the choices I've made. Thank you for the patience in teaching us how to drive.
To Eduardo, at this point in our lives, I wanna say thank you. Thank you for continually pushing me and believing in me. Thank you for all the patience and care. Thank you for always supporting me and being there for me. Thank you for putting up with my anti-social behaviour, my temper and my uncommunicativeness (is there such a word?hehehehe). Thank you for pushing and pulling me out of my shell despite and inspite of my stubbornness to stay in it. Thank you for always bringing e along in all your ideas and outings. With you I was able to travel without the hassle for planning. With you and Janice I was able to try new things like working in a call center, learning to pose for pics and be more girly.
To Janice, we may not have been close in high school but I felt that the time I spent with you and Eduardo while in Manila brought me closer to you. Thank you for putting up with me. Thank you for "dolling" me up. Though I complain, am really flattered and honored that you take your time to help me choose my clothes and put make up on me. You have in a way influenced me in how I dress and have sorta jump started my interest in putting make up and being more girly hehehehe. You have also taught me that good accessories can change a dress (well you and Eduardo). Thanks much.
To Mae Anne, thank you for keeping in touch. Thank you for showing your support while I was working in the call center and now while I'm still working on finding a job overseas. Thank you for continually encouraging me.
To Berna, you will always be my friend. You have always been there for me in college with all the ups and downs.
To my Auntie-cousin, Te Lai, thank you for being my sound board. Thank you for listening to my complaints and fancies. Thank you for putting up with my English, hehehehe!Thank you for being my Ate.
To Erica, you will always be the first person who befriended me. The first person who put up with me. Thank you for taking me along on your church activities and for accepting me. Sorry if I haven't really kept in touch.
To Jason, thanks for being a friend and staying as such even after college. Thanks for letting me borrow your books and stuff. Thanks for taking time to meet up with me whenever I am in Manila. Thank you for your opinions which are a bit different than the others, hehehe.
To June, I will always remember you to be my connection to Butuan while I was in Manila studying for college. You have helped me not give up on certain things. You have such an awesome fighting spirit, hehehehe. The views and opinions you have shared helped me think and analyze my thoughts and ideas more closely.
To my current officemates, thank you for accepting me...my abrupt moods, my blunt opinions and sometimes my noisiness. Thank you for letting me be. Thanks Mhix for putting up with my strong opinions and idiosyncrasies,hehehehe.
I thank you God, for always giving me people that helps me become a better person.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I wanna...
I know I already made a bucket list but those are the things I wanna do before I die. There are certain things that I wanna do...like NOW.
For one thing, I've been to Manila several times and stayed there for quite some time but I have yet to go and enjoy Enchanted Kingdom....grrrr...I'm really not happy about that. AAARRRGGGHHH! Next, I want my passport stamped and not just not valid for travel to Iraq before I turn thirty. I wanna go to either China, Japan or Korea, hehehehehe! I also wanna have my own camera that I can use for my own. Apparently, I also wanna go to Disneyland and it doesn't matter where as long as I get a photo with Mickey Mouse and Stitch. I also wanna go to the Ocean Park hehehehe!And I wanna experience another adrenaline rush adventure, water rafting or something.
AAAAHHHH!So many I wants yet don't have the capacity to do them all with the time frame I gave myself.
For one thing, I've been to Manila several times and stayed there for quite some time but I have yet to go and enjoy Enchanted Kingdom....grrrr...I'm really not happy about that. AAARRRGGGHHH! Next, I want my passport stamped and not just not valid for travel to Iraq before I turn thirty. I wanna go to either China, Japan or Korea, hehehehehe! I also wanna have my own camera that I can use for my own. Apparently, I also wanna go to Disneyland and it doesn't matter where as long as I get a photo with Mickey Mouse and Stitch. I also wanna go to the Ocean Park hehehehe!And I wanna experience another adrenaline rush adventure, water rafting or something.
AAAAHHHH!So many I wants yet don't have the capacity to do them all with the time frame I gave myself.
Monday, June 14, 2010
What if!
What if I die would people mourn for me?
Would they go to my eulogy and remember what's nice about me?
The good I have done and the love and care I've given...
Would there be even people attending my wake.
Or maybe they'll laugh at my demise...
Grateful for the fact that I am gone...
The person that questions almost everything...
The person who does not seem to care.
What if I get terminally ill...
Would people visit me in my hospital bed?
Would they take time to spend with me?
Reminiscing the past and boosting my faith...
Or they'll just say "It's karma"...
They'll probably think I deserved it,
For all the headaches and heartaches I've caused...
Who knows they'll visit just to see me suffer.
What if I lost someone I love...
And at the same time lost my job, or house
Will there be people there to stand by me?
Will they'll be there to support me?
Or will they just say...
I had it coming...
Am such an abrasive person,
Demanding and hard.
If I get sick...really sick,will they take care of me?
Will they still hug me, when I smell like shit?
Will they feed me, even if I vomit it out?
Or they feel disgust...turn up their noses
At the sight and smell of me...
All thin and drab and smelly...
Would somebody..please be there for me?
Would I still have friends and families
If those things happen to me?
Would I still have somebody when I am old...
No matter...I'll keep loving even if no one knows
ANNA
Would they go to my eulogy and remember what's nice about me?
The good I have done and the love and care I've given...
Would there be even people attending my wake.
Or maybe they'll laugh at my demise...
Grateful for the fact that I am gone...
The person that questions almost everything...
The person who does not seem to care.
What if I get terminally ill...
Would people visit me in my hospital bed?
Would they take time to spend with me?
Reminiscing the past and boosting my faith...
Or they'll just say "It's karma"...
They'll probably think I deserved it,
For all the headaches and heartaches I've caused...
Who knows they'll visit just to see me suffer.
What if I lost someone I love...
And at the same time lost my job, or house
Will there be people there to stand by me?
Will they'll be there to support me?
Or will they just say...
I had it coming...
Am such an abrasive person,
Demanding and hard.
If I get sick...really sick,will they take care of me?
Will they still hug me, when I smell like shit?
Will they feed me, even if I vomit it out?
Or they feel disgust...turn up their noses
At the sight and smell of me...
All thin and drab and smelly...
Would somebody..please be there for me?
Would I still have friends and families
If those things happen to me?
Would I still have somebody when I am old...
No matter...I'll keep loving even if no one knows
ANNA
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