It’s been ….three, four years since I came back to Butuan from Manila and it has been a really something. I’ve become a bum, a volunteer and a SpEd teacher.
My first six, eight months I was a bum. Well not a bum bum but rather just a bum. I do still have responsibilities at home like washing dishes, folding and sorting clothes, sweeping and polishing the floor and cooking food. Still, I was a bum. Dependent on my parents to give me money for snacks, or if I wanna go out and watch a movie or something. It was really boring. At first, like the first 3-4 weeks, it was fun and relaxing. I mean, you know I don’t have to think about anything but my day to day chores. No pressure, no responsibilities and I don’t have to worry if I have enough money to buy food or fare. But then, I got bored. I felt so cooped inside the house. There were times that I felt suffocated, sometimes feeling like I’d go nuts from doing nothing but sleep and eat. I felt like I’ve read almost all books and magazines inside the house due to boredom. I felt like I’ve memorized all the Harry Potter books we had at that time (which was like books 1-5). And it also felt like my brain’s turning to mush from lack of interaction. So I decided to look for a job or something to do.
So, then I became a volunteer. I applied for a job but the center that I was recommended to didn’t have an opening for a PT at that time so they said I could be a volunteer and I accepted. Well it was helpful. I mean becoming a volunteer helped me coz I could go out of the house at least 3 times a week. I also had money granted the money was still from my parents but at least it was spent on other things not just food. I was not gonna go bananas since I was no longer cooped inside the house. My social skills were being tuned again as I could get to interact with people not my family. I could see and experience things and the happenings beyond my subdivision. I was also able to help and learn in the process. I learned to be patient, more observant and less “demanding”. I also met and interacted with people who had a part in my life. I even became a “volunteer” at the City Social Welfare and Development office with a promise of a job, (how naive of me!) I was able to go to places in Butuan that if it was up to me I wouldn’t be able to go to. I was able to interact with people of different walks of life and different priorities. I was also able to experience what’s it like working for the city government (there was a lot of time wasted, a lot of red tape, catering to politicians and the usual fal de lals of a government agency). Being a volunteer also sort of eased me back into the hustle and bustle of being part of the workforce.
Then I became a SpEd teacher…..the position was offered to me at my lowest and I guess the most vulnerable part of my professional career. I must say, I accepted the offer readily and eagerly. I want to work already! Although I have worked with special children before and I have volunteered in the center for a good, well, more or less six months, it still didn’t prepare me for what a SpEd teacher has to be. When I started, most of the kids enrolled were children with autism. They are kids that usually have impaired social and communication skills ( if you’re really curios about autism you can check my blog on that topic). Anyway, so I’m in a whole new program and the person that was supposed to orient me on the whole SpEd thing was somebody that was also sent as a temporary replacement. Plus she was kinda implementing, errrr... introducing new policies and other stuff. It was kinda fortunate that the kids just got off from summer and some of them were also newcomers to the SpEd program as well. So on my first day, well….let’s just say that after two months I felt like I jumped at the deep end of the ocean. It was both overwhelming and exciting. It was both fun and tiring. I mean when I was a bum I wanted to have mental exercise, well I got it all. As a SpEd teacher I got physical exercises from chasing after hyperactive kids and making them sit on their chair to finish at least one activity. I also got my physical exercise from assisting them in their activities. I got mental exercises from being creative, like thinking of ways and means to make an ordinary lesson interesting to a special child. Be creative like, you know making an ordinary letter identification exciting and not monotonous. And of course we had to incorporate letter writing, coloring, object identification and other artsy stuff. My friends have known me as a very unartistic person so it was quite a challenge for me to be creative and artistic for my lessons. And the paper work to be done was ummm…daunting… I mean a report every weekend on a communication notebook and a formatted paper per child. And I, well, we had to write there on the paper all the activities we did everyday (which by the way had to be like 5-6 activities in a day!policy!) and the child’s responses to the activities and some other stuff. And we had to like personally make the activities everyday! Aaaarrrggghhh!It was really intimidating. So I get rather emotional. I mean as a PT I was more used to the bullet style of writing and here, it was all in paragraph and descriptive form. Plus one tends to get attached to the kids, so if they sort of backslides, I get frustrated especially if it’s a kid assigned to me. I also get really happy when a kid could write his name already and independently. It makes me so proud when a kid could greet me “Good afternoon Teacher Ann” or “I love you Teacher Ann” spontaneously without prompts or cues. It makes everything, all the hard work and tears all worth it just to see a kid achieve something that we regular people all take for granted. It’s really amazing.
But my journey is still not finished. I still have a lot to learn and a lot of things to experience. I hope it’ll be as fun and as exciting as I had gone through the past years.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The Irony
I’m a Physical Therapist, I graduated from a Physical Therapy program, and I had worked as a Physical Therapist but circumstance and the need to find a paying job landed me as an assistant SpEd teacher. (I guess God also placed me in such position to teach me certain things).
When I was still in school, I told myself I don’t want to be a teacher. I don’t have the diligence and penmanship to be a teacher. I don’t have the creativity needed to be a teacher. I like to cram and I don’t like making projects. I said to myself I want a job that’ll allow me to leave the work at the workplace and just chill at home. Plus, I don’t like wearing uniforms, I mean you know, skirt and blouse and jacket, aarrgghh! And the constant primping and stuff (basing on the “young” teachers in my primary and secondary school days). I mean, even my own teachers who were kinda “old” had to wear make-up and stuff. Teachers had to stay neat and clean and all, which is something I’m not really good at. I mean I’m not mangy and scraggly and all, but if I had to wear white it’ll surely have some dirt at the end of the day. I also felt that I couldn’t behave the way teachers do, all prim and proper, with their bags and umbrella and folders and stuff (yuck!). I like to be able to sit anywhere I want (like the floor!) and I don’t want to be hindered by an itty-bitty bag and a humongous one full of books and folders and student’s paper and all that (bleeh).
When I interned (back when I was in college) in our pediatric clinic, I told myself, I don’t want to work with kids. They cry a lot, they whine, they cry a lot, they spit, they whine, they cry a lot, they drool, they cry a lot. Imagine having a one-hour therapy session with a kid that’s crying all the time (my ears, my ears, save my ears!). And then one had to be really hands-on with them since kids can’t understand verbal instructions (especially coz they’re special kids). And since they cry a lot one had to be extra vigilant in knowing the reason why the kid’s crying. Is the kid hurt? Hungry? Sleepy? Or just being plain manipulative? (I’m gonna go crazy!). And since they’re kids you have to contend with the parents. I have to explain their kid’s condition (especially if it’s their first time), what they need to do, what has to be done and some other stuff. It’s like having a patient times two or three (if Dad’s included) or four (with yaya). Aside from the frustration over a crying or manipulative kid, I also had to face parents that are still in denial, noncompliant caregivers and yayas that think if it’s therapy time it’s their “breaktime” (am I getting bald?).
But lo and behold! I became an assistant SpEd teacher. I accepted the position for several reasons. The most important reason being I want to work, like a real work, with compensations worth the job. Or at least a paying job that allows me to no longer ask money from my parents and at least contribute some amount in the family expenses. So there I was a SpEd teacher.
As a teacher it was rather intimidating and overwhelming. I mean it wasn’t like I didn’t know what the children’s cases were but still to be actually working with them on a daily basis for two hours straight was really daunting. Well granted I wasn’t alone, I mean there were two of us to 3 kids in the morning and 5 kids in the afternoon all with the same diagnosis (on my first semester)and it wasn’t the first time for all of them, still. There were days that I just want to cry. There were also days that I was so overwhelmed, what with the daily preparation of activities which by the way were all made by us, teachers (5-6 paper-pencil based activities), every weekend report to the parents written on a communication notebook and a formatted paper, it was like…what did I got myself into. I mean all my friends know I am not the most creative and here I am drawing shapes and letters and objects and what else. I make cut-outs and stuff for the kids. I was even able to hone my “paluma” skills, hahaha! And am not the most patient person and here I am a teacher, to special kids no less. It was like…what did I get myself into? The things that I told myself I don’t want to do are the things that I’m doing. But at the end of the day (more like at the end of the sem) when you see the progress the child has made, it makes you smile and be proud and say yeah, I had a part in his development.
What’s funny was that when I joined a Christian community, Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon, I was more active than usual at their social program which is involved with young boys ages 5-16. I even became an assistant leader for a time. We’d go to their shelter every third Sunday of the month. The place is like a shelter for abandoned and orphaned young boys. So we’d go there and have some activities like playing with them or watching a movie or doing arts and crafts and stuff. And of course the activities must have a Christian value in it or something. I mean this is not “teacher” thing but it still involves teaching and being responsible for a child’s formation!
And then the irony of it all is that, I accepted an offer to teach anatomy and physiology to a bunch of college kids. Ha! So like I have to make hand-outs for them and study my lessons and study the bones (ah!the late nights!). I had to make quizzes and exams. I had to bring chalk and an extra bag for my stuff. And I have to compute their freaking grades! Getting frustrated every exam time coz like almost half of them failed and like on their midterms only three out of eighteen passed (can I kill somebody?). Thank goodness their quizzes helped in pulling their grades up! An they did well on their two moving exams”,).
Well, it was lots of fun. The whole teaching thing and working with kids was like a roller coaster ride of emotions. The drools and tears (by my special kids) and haggling (by the college kids) there were all worth it (I guess) because at the end of it all I was able to help in molding a young and not so young mind. (,”
When I was still in school, I told myself I don’t want to be a teacher. I don’t have the diligence and penmanship to be a teacher. I don’t have the creativity needed to be a teacher. I like to cram and I don’t like making projects. I said to myself I want a job that’ll allow me to leave the work at the workplace and just chill at home. Plus, I don’t like wearing uniforms, I mean you know, skirt and blouse and jacket, aarrgghh! And the constant primping and stuff (basing on the “young” teachers in my primary and secondary school days). I mean, even my own teachers who were kinda “old” had to wear make-up and stuff. Teachers had to stay neat and clean and all, which is something I’m not really good at. I mean I’m not mangy and scraggly and all, but if I had to wear white it’ll surely have some dirt at the end of the day. I also felt that I couldn’t behave the way teachers do, all prim and proper, with their bags and umbrella and folders and stuff (yuck!). I like to be able to sit anywhere I want (like the floor!) and I don’t want to be hindered by an itty-bitty bag and a humongous one full of books and folders and student’s paper and all that (bleeh).
When I interned (back when I was in college) in our pediatric clinic, I told myself, I don’t want to work with kids. They cry a lot, they whine, they cry a lot, they spit, they whine, they cry a lot, they drool, they cry a lot. Imagine having a one-hour therapy session with a kid that’s crying all the time (my ears, my ears, save my ears!). And then one had to be really hands-on with them since kids can’t understand verbal instructions (especially coz they’re special kids). And since they cry a lot one had to be extra vigilant in knowing the reason why the kid’s crying. Is the kid hurt? Hungry? Sleepy? Or just being plain manipulative? (I’m gonna go crazy!). And since they’re kids you have to contend with the parents. I have to explain their kid’s condition (especially if it’s their first time), what they need to do, what has to be done and some other stuff. It’s like having a patient times two or three (if Dad’s included) or four (with yaya). Aside from the frustration over a crying or manipulative kid, I also had to face parents that are still in denial, noncompliant caregivers and yayas that think if it’s therapy time it’s their “breaktime” (am I getting bald?).
But lo and behold! I became an assistant SpEd teacher. I accepted the position for several reasons. The most important reason being I want to work, like a real work, with compensations worth the job. Or at least a paying job that allows me to no longer ask money from my parents and at least contribute some amount in the family expenses. So there I was a SpEd teacher.
As a teacher it was rather intimidating and overwhelming. I mean it wasn’t like I didn’t know what the children’s cases were but still to be actually working with them on a daily basis for two hours straight was really daunting. Well granted I wasn’t alone, I mean there were two of us to 3 kids in the morning and 5 kids in the afternoon all with the same diagnosis (on my first semester)and it wasn’t the first time for all of them, still. There were days that I just want to cry. There were also days that I was so overwhelmed, what with the daily preparation of activities which by the way were all made by us, teachers (5-6 paper-pencil based activities), every weekend report to the parents written on a communication notebook and a formatted paper, it was like…what did I got myself into. I mean all my friends know I am not the most creative and here I am drawing shapes and letters and objects and what else. I make cut-outs and stuff for the kids. I was even able to hone my “paluma” skills, hahaha! And am not the most patient person and here I am a teacher, to special kids no less. It was like…what did I get myself into? The things that I told myself I don’t want to do are the things that I’m doing. But at the end of the day (more like at the end of the sem) when you see the progress the child has made, it makes you smile and be proud and say yeah, I had a part in his development.
What’s funny was that when I joined a Christian community, Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon, I was more active than usual at their social program which is involved with young boys ages 5-16. I even became an assistant leader for a time. We’d go to their shelter every third Sunday of the month. The place is like a shelter for abandoned and orphaned young boys. So we’d go there and have some activities like playing with them or watching a movie or doing arts and crafts and stuff. And of course the activities must have a Christian value in it or something. I mean this is not “teacher” thing but it still involves teaching and being responsible for a child’s formation!
And then the irony of it all is that, I accepted an offer to teach anatomy and physiology to a bunch of college kids. Ha! So like I have to make hand-outs for them and study my lessons and study the bones (ah!the late nights!). I had to make quizzes and exams. I had to bring chalk and an extra bag for my stuff. And I have to compute their freaking grades! Getting frustrated every exam time coz like almost half of them failed and like on their midterms only three out of eighteen passed (can I kill somebody?). Thank goodness their quizzes helped in pulling their grades up! An they did well on their two moving exams”,).
Well, it was lots of fun. The whole teaching thing and working with kids was like a roller coaster ride of emotions. The drools and tears (by my special kids) and haggling (by the college kids) there were all worth it (I guess) because at the end of it all I was able to help in molding a young and not so young mind. (,”
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