Religion,Mission,Church

I just got home from hearing mass with my Mother. The gospel talks about a dishonest judge who later relented and gave a fair judgement to a woman that keeps visiting him and asking him to give a righteous decision on her case. The priest, on his homily said something about if only we ask God everyday what we need, with a passionate heart we will surely receive it, though not in the ways we expect.
Today is also a Mission Sunday. The priest on his homily also talked about how few there are, especially among the youth to enter a convent,seminary or monastery and become a priest,nun or monk. This is so prevalent especially in the western countries. He said that in these economically developed countries convents and monasteries are converted into museums and tourist destinations due to lack of disciples. He said that the Philippines is more fortunate as there are still quite a lot of Filipinos that enter convents and seminaries to become priests and nuns. I wonder why?
I don't know but maybe I'm too cynical...sometimes I feel that people who enter a convent or a seminary are there 'cause they think becoming a priest or nun will give them a better life. Don't get me wrong this is not just a random thought that I plucked from thin air, this is based on a couple of months stay in a very "religious" city that has 2 seminaries (high school and college), 3 convents and a catechism school, not to mention that the Archbishop's Palace is there, their biggest church and the seat of their diocese's location. All the above mentioned located within the city proper. I can't remember how long I stayed there, it was definitely more than a couple of months but less than a year. And such a thought is also not just a supposition, I was definitely up close and personal with some of them. Know why? Cause I stayed in a convent run by an active sister whose advocacy or mission was to help the sick. I often go to the Bishop's Palace or rather the dormitory near the Bishop's Palace since an Aunt was also staying there. So with such places that I go to, you can see that I have a fairly good seat to watch and observe these people. Oh, and did I mention that I often visit other convents and churches with my Aunt and the Sister I was staying with? Yeah, I did...and hang out with some of the younger priests, and serve some of the older ones.
Now, as I was saying, I feel that some people enter a seminary or convent with the thought that they will have a more comfortable life. I say this because, I know it's pretty expensive to study in a seminary so they'll find sponsor/sponsors to help them out. Who can refuse such a scholar? A future servant of God...one would think "I'd be blessed". Even as full pledged priests they have sponsors. I see them everyday driving cars, it may be given by their parents, their siblings or their relatives who knows, but for some of them it does not reflect sacrifice. I interact with them almost everyday, see the designer shirts and pants they wear, smell a really familiar,really expensive kind of perfume on them that even from afar you'd know who's who with the perfume they wear. Those things may be given to them by a family member but does it reflect simplicity? There was even a seminarian who asked me if wearing braces is ok...I told him it's a necessity if the formation of your teeth hinders your ability to speak and eat...but if for cosmetic reasons alone then it's just vanity. Nuns seem ok...at first but when you watch and observe, sometimes you can see and feel that there's a certain air of discord within their circle. I saw a sister came out of her bedroom when she stayed at the dormitory (this was during the elections and both of us were serving the NAMFREL), I said "good morning" and she just stared at me, may be because I was wearing a black shirt, dark eyeliner under the eyes, unpaired earrings and ear cuffs, red lips. But when she came out of the communal bathroom, she was already rosy cheeked, pink lips and a hint of color above the eyes...hhmmm...With such experiences I wonder if charity,chastity and simplicity still applies.
Another reason is that, if they get and have somebody help them in their schooling they'd have free board and lodging, though they have chores in the seminary but it wouldn't be like staying at home. They are also kind of sheltered from the harsh realities of going hungry, worrying where to find money for food and daily necessities, balancing relationships. I don't know if it's good or bad...but again I find them too sheltered. Some of them exudes a subtle air of not being touched by the harsh realities of life.
But the other part of me applauds them. I kind of admired them for going through life without the usual stuff we people not in convents and seminaries do. Not being able to build relationships,always careful how you act...For those who enter the seminary at high school they are already separated from their families at twelve or thirteen. If you have a younger sibling you won't be able to have fun with them. I don't know how it'll feel if I can't quarrel with my siblings, tease them,share stuff with them. Not being able to play like any young kid.Not being able to interact with the opposite sex or go out on dates like any young adult. Not being able to watch a movie with friends, play video games or just hang out in a bar or at the mall. Not being able to pick and choose the kind of clothes you like, the kind of style you want. The thought of "who will take care of me when I've grown old?", "who will take care of me when I get sick?". It's kinda scary and could be lonely sometimes. All one can do is sacrifice..always pray.
Really...I once contemplated entering a convent...but even before the thought formed I know I won't survive. I bend rules. I'm too outspoken. I have a tendency to be aggressive...and I never liked pressure. And I won't sacrifice my junkfoods. Plus I'll miss my family terribly, I'll miss my friends and I doubt if I can live a quiet life like the sisters and nuns do.
So I applaud you all...priests, nuns,sisters and monks for choosing a life that is full of sacrifice. I guess for me it's sacrifice, for you an honor to serve the Lord.

Plans go Awry..

I just got back from visiting and supporting my sister in Manila for her exams. Before, I went there I already made plans to go to places that I haven't really been to. But as always,things don't go the way I want them to.
I wasn't able to go to the Manila Ocean Park...aaaaarrgghhh! I wanna go there.I wanna see the fishes up close,hehehe!Besides it's only a jeepney ride from where we were staying. But noooo... we went to Divisoria....aaaarrrrgghhhh!
I wanted to go to Enchanted Kingdom. In my four,five years of studying in Manila, I wasn't able to go to this place. In my on and off stay in Manila for another five years, I still wasn't able to ride the rides and see the sites in Enchanted Kingdom. I told myself now is the time. But noooo... we went to Baclaran...aaaarrrggghhhh!
The things I wanna do I wasn't able to do them but there were some unexpected activities that we did. Thanks to my friends and my flexible Mother and sister,hehehe!
Though, I wasn't able to go to Enchanted Kingdom, I was able to spend time with my friends, eating, shopping for shoes and just plain hanging out. It was fun. I really missed my friends. I miss us just sitting on a bed, watching tv, talking about anything and everything. I guess, I missed their presence. I am ever grateful for their support.
Though I wasn't able to go to Manila Ocean Park, I was able to attend a Kerygma Feast and listen to one of the talks of Bo Sanchez. It was fun and refreshing. It helped in renewing my spirituality. Made me hunger for spiritual events. It made me think of my Lingkod family. It was really nice,hehehe!
But...at least I was able to watch a 3D movie in SM Mall of Asia's IMax. It was fun, a new way of watching movies...lol!
I was kinda disappointed and frustrated that I wasn't able to do the things that I planned...but upon reflection, I actually wasn't really disappointed nor frustrated. I was actually happy. I was really happy to spend time with my friends. I was happy to spend girl time with my mother and sister. I was happy for the spiritual feast that I attended,really helpful and insightful. I guess, it wasn't about what we did but rather with whom we spent the time with that was important and truly mattered. I had a really good time and had loads of fun ,") .